I’ve just been on a once in a lifetime holiday… Never again. Credit: Tim Vine.

If Clinton makes a good joke it’ll be Hillaryous

What do you get if you cross an Egyptian mummy with a car mechanic? Toot and Car Man.

Whenever someone tells me they have an IQ of 140, I wonder if that’s Fahrenheit or centigrade.

I’m working on a script about a mobster who attempts to reinvent himself as a professional photographer. I’m gonna call it… *The Selfie Made Man.*

Can we get a tagging system for jokes? Like [OL] for one-liners, [S] for story, etc..

launch my dead body into space but not too far away. if my calculations are correct, i will win the public pool splash contest in 2076

“Whoa! It’s really hot in here!” “Sorry, Should I leave?”

A woman walks into a bar. “OUCH!”

If you tase an electrician, he only becomes more powerful.