Someone that knows three languages is multilingual. Someone that knows two languages is bilingual. So what do you call someone that only knows one language? An American.

Using Craigslist can get you murdered, but that’s only one of its many advantages

Id like to thank the Walmart cashier for making me feel like big money. I guess you don’t see many $20 bills, glad you made sure its legit.

TIFU Now the disc is not playable.

Did you hear the one about the pilot who backed into the propeller? Wrecked’em. Damn near killed him.

If there’s one thing I know about Mexican stand offs… In the end, there can only be Juan.

What’s one thing a woman can never say no to? Rape.

What is a chicken’s favorite composer? Bach!

A corrupt politician turns the power off in an orphanage. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice.