Q: How does the queen bee get around her hive? A: She’s throne.

What do anemic people drink? Pale ale

Sitting while wearing shorts is a fun way to make your thighs look like they escaped sausage casing.

What do you call making jokes of a chicken on fire? Roasting a chicken.

An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar… The bartender says, “What is this? Some sort of joke?!”

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach …

one time my cousin greg put on two jean jackets and he exploded, there was mustache everywhere

What do midwesterners call Minnesota? Minnepop.

[Speech Therapy] Therapist: Repeat after me: I’m thirsty Dad: I’m…thirsty T: I’m hungry D: I’m…H…Hi Hungry, I’m Dad T: *throws clipboard*

I think I just invented four new yoga poses trying to get a chocolate chip that I dropped under the table.