Kim Kardashian compared getting through her divorce was like beating cancer. Except cancer is real. She should compare her stupidity to it.

The “Lumos/Nox” trick on Android phones is pretty neat. However… I’d advise the Galaxy Note 7 crowd to avoid “Avada Kedavra.”

What supplement did Stallone take during the Rocky films? Ginkgo Balboa

The pizza guy just said “see u tomorrow” Maybe I eat too much pizza …

What did Aaron Hernandez lose when after he got cut by the Patriots His TE

Here you go, Merry Christmas! “Dad, why’d you wrap our gifts in soft fabric?” Because I wanted to make- Mom: NO DON’T My presents felt

It’s not believable when Billy Bob Thornton isn’t an alcoholic in a movie.

[Therapist appt.] Hub: She doesn’t have her priorities straight. *Me on FaceTime with a petting zoo in the background* “That’s not true”

It’s so cool how math isn’t real now that I’m a grown up.

I saw a documentary on how they make jeans… It was riveting.