Joke of the Day 6/13/14 I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can’t get the cobwebs out of her hair.

A girlfriend and boyfriend are talking… The girl says, “hey John, how do you spell ‘pedophilia?’” He responds, “gosh honey, why do you need to know? That’s an awfully big word for an 8 year old.”

If I had a crystal ball that could see five years into the future… I would have 2020 vision.

What do you call a sick eagle? Illegal.

What person strives to ensure safety for horses? Ralph Neighder!

I like my coffee like I like my women Basically, I’m now banned from Starbucks.

Why do Jews have big noses? Because air is free. (Stolen from my science textbook)

Making out with a blind girl… I made out with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said “Nah, You’re just pulling my leg.”

What do you call it when the robot from Futurama gets in a minor car accident while wearing a dress? A gender bender Bender fender bender.

What does a Jewish pedophile say to a child? Do you want to buy a candy?