A man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells him, “Sir, you have to stop masturbating.” The man asks, “Why, doc?” And the doctor replies, “Because I’m examining you!”

News reports 5hr Energy may be linked to death. Don’t know if it’s an advertising gimmick or not but I bought a bunch to gift, just in case.

*Young Jesus plays with food* Mary: you’re not playing until you finish your bread and fish! *ugh* *touches food* *it multiplies* NOOOOOO!!!

What’s the difference between the US Election and sex? In sex it’s fun to choose between a cunt and an asshole.

what do you call the most famous canadian hacking group? anonymoose.

Everyone talks about roses on a piano… I just want tulips on my organ.

Let me tell you a Statistics Joke. What is a Car in the U.S.? A mode of transportation. 😀

Shock me, say something intelligent.

What’s better than roses on your piano? – tulips on your organ.

I was recently on Safari in the Serengeti and witnessed two huge male lions, taking it in turns to shag each other. I thought, “Fcuk me, have they got no pride?”