Thursday doesn’t even count as a day, it’s just the thing that’s blocking Friday…

What’s the most annoying thing in the internet? People who comment “repost” on a Joke subreddit.

Why do giraffes have a great love life? Because they keep a good distance between their brains and their heart.

Why do white girls only travel in groups of 3, 5, and 7? Because they literally can’t even.

Why did the blonde stare at a frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said “concentrate”!

I’m not normally a name-dropper but Tiger Woods asked me to start his car in the dream I just had.

How do you make Holy Water? Boil the Hell out of it!

What do you call a christian crawdad? A Prayfish.

How do mathematicians scold their children? “If I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times …”

So, there’s a chicken and a frog in a library… The chicken shouts: “Bok!” The frog replies: “Reddit!”