Its really disgusting how other white people dont even know about the plight of [quickly wikipedias “Who is having alot of plight 2012]

Black and Blue Whats black and blue and doesnt like sex? The six year old in my trunk!

More Wisdom from Confucius Man who goes to bed with itchy butt, usually wakes up with stinky fingers. Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive… They would eventually find me attractive.

I was trying to help my blonde neighbour park her trailered boat in her driveway. Go ahead, back up, I kept saying…it took over 2 hours.

One of the best moments in my life was hearing my wife day “till death do us part.” I wish I would’ve known she was talking about her legs….

I’m a really big supporter of gay marriage… Mostly because I believe one day there will be a law that will allow you to shoot gay guys. And when that day comes, it will be much easier to find them.

*walks into Babies R Us* Hi I’d like to buy a baby. “Sir we don’t-” *I slide him a 100 dollar bill* “This way please.”

What is a twip? A twip is what a wabbit takes when he wides a twain.

Today my friend accused me of being condescending. It’s ridiculous, I don’t even think he knows what that word means.