“I love all quilts, regardless of quality.” – blanket statement

Horrible joke I made up as a kid Why are frogs on the endangered species list? Because they croak a lot!

The Irish have announced they’ve sent a peace keeping force to Ukraine. They’ve managed to secure the city of Chernobyl without any resistance!

What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? Curses! Foil again!

A skeleton walks into a bar… The bartender asks, “Hey skeleton, what’ll it be?” The skeleton replies, “I will have a beer…and a mop.”

I just saw Jurassic World… It was DINO-mite!!! A’thank you, I’ll show myself out.

what did the tampon say to the other tampon as they passed each other in the street? NSFW nothing. they were both stuck up cunts!

“You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry… Because I always back up my rage with facts and well documented sources” -The Credible Hulk

My mom has been trying to forward me an email since Monday June 23rd…..it’s now Friday June 27th…. still no email

I’ve never seen a workplace Hanukkah display that didn’t shout, “We legally had to do this.”