Too many people complain about their looks, but not nearly enough complain about their brains.

When my wife asked me to stop being a flamingo.. I had to put my foot down

Jewish kid calls his dad from college… …asking for fifty dollars. Dad responds: “Forty dollars? What do you need thirty dollars for?”

What do you call a mexican prostitute? Nach-ho

I bought a new boomerang… but I couldn’t throw away my old one.

Missing a period is probably a Grammar Nazi’s worst nightmare.

Necrophilia The insatiable urge to crack open a cold one

What’s a feminist’s favorite math class? Triggernometry.

I quit smoking for good Now I smoke for evil.

I changed the tranny in my 69 Camaro. Now he has a brand new dress!