What do you call deer with no eyes? No idea. What do you call deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea.

I Got Worried After Reading the Statistic on Marriage 50% of them last forever!

For those who’ve received my unsolicited dick pix: my computer does NOT have a virus I am purposely sending those to you.

If you see me tied to a horse please know I don’t own one so whoever robbed me has gone out of their way to make me look like a fool.

What’s the difference between a jeep and a rental car? A rental car can go anywhere

I got 99 problems and the bitch heard me call her a bitch so now I have 100.

When you think your life couldn’t be any more pathetic, remember some people have more than 1 Facebook account.

Did you hear? They found a new use for sheep in texas. Wool.

How much does funeral insurance cost Enough to put you in so much debt you need to dig your way out Alternatively: an arm and a leg

Teacher: In 1940 what were the Poles doing in Russia ? Pupil: Holding up the telegraph lines !