What did Leonardo DaVinci call his house? The DaVinci Abode

how many cooks does it take to change a lightbulb? one, and nine to stand around and say how they did it at their old job….

Men don’t ask for driving directions because we just don’t want to arrive wherever you’re making us go.

What do you call a group of squids? a *squad*

What is the difference between a paycheck and a cock? You don’t have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

Which newspaper is most popular around cows? The Moo York Times

So I’m opening a seafood restaurant… …and my signature dish will be eel in a light Japanese batter. It will be called “O Tempura! O Morays!”

What kind of goat did Houdini have? A scapegoat.

What did the man with a 10inch dick have for breakfast? I didn’t think you would know, but I had steak and eggs.

What do JFK, John Lennon and Donald Trump have in common? Nothing. But a man can dream.