What do blondes and turtles have in common? When they’re on their backs, they’re screwed.

Why was the Turkey v Germany match called off? There were too many fowls.

I met a girl… I met a girl who had twelve nipples. Sounds kinda funny, dozen tit?

What do cops do at a buffet? They pig out.

Circumcision jokes are…. ….pointless.

How does a Russian Aeroflot pilot navigate? By reading street signs.

I still remember what my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket… “How far do you reckon I can kick this bucket?”

When the doctors diagnosed me with leprosy… …I laughed my head off.

What did Santa Claus say when Mrs. Claus asked him for the weather? It’s rain, dear!

Why didn’t the bike go to the car show? Because he was two tired.