How many Sanders supporters does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question, they can’t change anything.

Me: If I have $45 and your mother has $15, how much money does your mom have? 6yo: $60 Me: That’s correct, son.

What baked treat shares its name with a gynaecological apparatus? Flapjacks.

How many elves does a german santa have? Elf.

Wanna hear a terrorist joke? Israeli good..

The student and the teacher. JACK: “Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?” TEACHER:” Of course not. ” JACK: “Good, because I haven’t done my homework ….”

How did the geologist develop a career as an expert in sinkholes? He fell into it.

There are so many uses for toilet paper rolls… but you have to go through a lot of shit to use them.

What kind of currency do they use in space? http://i.imgur.com/vfZp1nP.jpg

The worst excuse I have ever came up with.