My grandfather suffers from dimensia… he doesn’t ever seem to know at what point he exists in time or space.

My Grandpa has a French rifle from WWII It was never fired, but it was dropped once.

I think every joke should have a serious element of Fe-y

Knock Knock “Who’s there?” “Dunno, but i do know its not Michael Brown”

[furiously trying to stir a stick of butter into a glass of milk] “Don’t you wish there was an easier way?” [cut to carton of butter milk]

I don’t want to criticize but whoever named them brownies wasn’t trying very hard.

The meaning of the word “Poor” Poor (noun) = When you have too much month at the end of your money

Why did the mountain have trouble in class? Because there was a steep learning curve.

Merry christmas and happy new year! – Internet explorer

Boy to Friend: I’m sorry I won’t be able to go out after school. I promised Dad that I would stay in and help him with my homework.