The problem with politics today… Republicans treat people like dogs and Democrats treat dogs like people

Chimney Whats the difference between Santa Claus and a Jew? Santa Claus goes down the chimney

You know what’s funny? An unexpected shift in context.

What do you call a greedy ant ? An anteater !

Why don’t Jewish mothers drink? Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

clock always late The woman says to the husband: Dear, today the clock fell from the wall of the room and i left that place just 5 seconds ago. Husband : Damn clock,Always late…

I have been having a lot more threesomes as of late. Ever since my wife got pregnant.

When someone picks up your call after 3 or 4 rings you should know they were seriously contemplating letting you go to voicemail

Sometimes i feel like the flat bread option at subway because I’m always available but no one ever wants me to hang out with

Roses are red. Wine is red. Poems are hard. Wine.