Why couldn’t the choir director figure out whether Alison Brie was alto soprano? Everytime he tried, he was told that she was young and that they tried not to sectionalise her.

If breaking a mirror brings 7 years of bad luck, does breaking a lightbulb bring 7 years of bad ideas?

What store does Governor Ratcliffe go to buy his video games? IT’S BABBAGES, BABBAGES

Q. What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket? A. A rebel without a clue!

Why didn’t Karl Marx like Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft.

TIL about different subreddits. SHIT…

I kept getting asked to stop singing “What is Love?”. My response to this is always the same… “I would stop if I Haddaway”

It really hurts for me to say this but… I have a sore throat.

Why did the Muslim fail his Chemistry Exam ? because to him, alcohol is not a solution.

Why use 2 A’s in the name Aaron? Why not 17? What’s stopping us?