If you don’t do stupid things while you’re young, you’ll have nothing to smile about when you’re old.

What do you call a deer with a missing eye? I have no fucking eye deer.

This is a step ladder. I never knew my real ladder. Last I heard he was in a twelve step program. I’ll see myself out.

9 out of 7 people can’t do fractions

Why didn’t the mason jar need a paternity test? Because the resemblance was uncanny.

Did you hear about the problem in Pakistan where smoking a scorpion gets you high? Well only the men get high, the women get stoned

I’m half Irish and half Jewish, so… I’m drinking if you’re buying.

listening to Mambo No. 5. every time Lou Bega says a woman’s name I fire my gun into the sky

What do Pink Floyd, Dale Earnhardt, and Donald Trump have in common? The wall.

List of Extremely Stupidly Funny Jokes Comment the stupidest, funniest joke you know!