How many introverts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Why does it have to be a group activity?

I woke up, after a drunken night, with two tattoos on my dick, but one of them was done in regular pen ink. So I rubbed one out.

Women get yeast infections So that they know what it’s like to live with an irratating cunt.

My friends call me Superman, not because I help people, its because I wear the same clothes everyday

Trump: “Hows that Mexican mall going?” “Mall? We thought you said wall” Trump: “No way that’s harsh, also hows that Muslim band looking?”

I really like passive aggressive people I’m not at all bothered by the fact they are giant cunts one and all.

Crows are like if a witch decided “I’m a bird now, too”

People keep saying I need to be more assertive Is that okay?

I like my women like I like my coffee noice

My 2 yo is currently having the biggest tantrum I’ve ever seen! He’s mad I will not let him open & eat the box of candy* he found. *tampons