Shout out to people who rate & review things cuz I don’t like to rate or review things but I like to know how things are rated & reviewed

Oh no! I forgot to refrigerate this German sausage! Now it’s totally become a spoiled brat.

One dolphin cut another dolphin off at the intersection of Coral Reef and Caribbean Current… The other dolphin said, “Hey, you did that on porpoise!”

What do you get when you divide 69 by 2? A lonely man’s handjob.

Two atoms were crossing the road… …when the first atom screams “Ahhhhh! I lost an electron”. The second atom asks “Are you sure?” to which the first atom replied “Yes, I’m positive.”

I bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces..

I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model.

I hate Masseuses They’re always talking behind my back

How many Mexicans does it take to change a Lightbuld? Only Juan…

Parallel lines have so much in common It’s a shame they’ll never meet!