ME: who’s a good boy!! DOG: did you just misgender me you genderphobic heteronormative piece of shit ME: what DOG: bark

Some say the five knuckle shuffle isn’t a finishing move My girlfriend is not one of them.

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowomen Snovaries

What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald? Sir!

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalotapus.

A woman walks into a bar She walks up to the counter and says to the bartender, “Gimme a double entendre.” So he gives it to her.

What’s the most positive thing in Harlem? HIV.

Nothing in the history of the English language has backfired more than the phrase “calm down.”

This drunk guy in the mirror thinks he can beat me in a dance off but I totally embarrassed him in front of the whole women’s bathroom.

Knock Knock Knock knock “Who’s there?” “The pilot, let me in.”