What’s the difference between the NBA and a pint of Guinness? Nothing. They’re both mostly black, with a little bit of white at the top.

A German Dad Joke So, because St. Patrick’s Day is tomorrow I asked my dad (who is German) if Germans have any day like St. Patrick’s Day. His said, “Yes, it’s called October.”

What dog can tell the time ? A watch dog !

Went into a restaurant and asked the waiter for a haramburger He said you can’t have that…it’s forbidden

Once I saw a ghost… It looked like your dick

I am more pissed off than a dragon trying to blow out candles.

At the bar I got into a factual debate with another patron. He pulled the “I have a PhD” card. Now he has a PhD AND a fork in his eye.

[iphone vibrates] 3yo: daddy someone is texting you [landline phone rings] 3yo: what is that sound?

HOW MANY LAWYER JOKES ARE THERE? Q. How many lawyer jokes are there? A. Three…the rest are all true.

Anyone can give a definition for erectile dysfunction… It’s not that hard.