[Corny] What does a highlighter say when it answers the phone? Yello?

Maybe I have a bunny in my pants, maybe that’s why I’m putting this salad in my pockets, you don’t know me.

What do Steam users and Reddit admins have in common? They don’t want to pay for mods.

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine’s Day? Rugs and kisses!

Wow, if Justin Bieber trends this much without dying, imagine how much he’ll trend when he OD’s on puberty. #careerdeath

Shout out to all my people with split personality disorder You know who you are

Don’t introduce a guy to another guy. No guy needs to know any more guys.

What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders

A heavy metal fan walks into a heavy metal bar. He gets a concussion.

What do you call a parrot that flew away? A polygon!