I feel bad for kids in wheelchairs. I bet they get pushed around a lot.

Biden: I think if we just leave a small- Obama: No Biden: Just a small Mouse Trap inspired- Obama: No booby traps, Joe

Knock Knock Who’s there ! Beggar ! Beggar who ? Beggar you don’t know !

I’ll think of a good herb joke… When I have some thyme

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: My greatest weakness? I’m a bad listener.

Some people are doing stuff with their lives!! Let’s mock them.

My secretary doesn’t wear any bra or panties to work. But he types really well.

A baby is a horrible paper weight because it just keeps rolling off the desk.

What does Dracula say when you tell him a new fact? Well fangcy that!

Common sense is so rare it should be classified as a super power