What do necrophiliacs get when they wake up on the day of a funeral? Mourning Wood

What is the captain of the starship enterprise’s favorite drink? Picardi and coke

How does a turtle grate cheese? Shredder

How does Donald Trump start his favorite joke? Two Corinthians walk into a bar…

I bought a new flat last week… I use it as my spare.

Who should we vote for the next president? Gabe Newell. There will never be a World War 3.

The bartender says:”We don’t serve your kind in here.” A tachyon walks into a bar.

I like Buddha He’s a well rounded guy

What does an epileptic vegetarian eat? Seizure salad

What do you call a foot doctor, curled up in a ball on the floor? A pedal physician in the fetal position.