Virgin mary enters into heaven as soon as she gets in she notices a hot dog stand. She blushes and giggling says “the holy spirit!”

The best thing about being Bane has gotta be that he can just slice a hardboiled egg straight into his pie hole

Malaysia airlines are having a huge sale Flights to any destination in the world for $499 one way…. return flights not available

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac? He lay awake in bed all night, wondering if there was really a dog.

What’s the best part about having sex with a gilf? You can finger her and grab her titties with one hand at the same time. 😉

I have a special place in my heart. For blood and vessels and stuff.

My apologies to Tom Cruise. I honestly thought that Scientologists dug up and studied old scientists.

Why is the letter N the most powerful letter? Because it is in the middle of TNT.

“That dress fits you like a glove” “It sticks out in five places”

I see you as a glass half full you need me to fill you up