What do you call it when a woman of the church goes on a secret mission? Nun of your business

What does a French beaver call her home? (From my 8 year old) Madame

What’s red, bloody and hangs of the back of a train? Miscarriage.

My wife and I do this cute thing where she sends me pics of kitchen towels she can’t decide on buying and I google my life expectancy.

Did you hear about Oscar Pistorius’ home improvements? He wants a new bathroom door, but his girlfriend’s dead against it

Wordplay is the fundamental form of a joke… After all, doesn’t every joke have a PUNchline?

When starting a new relationship it’s important to remember that someone already screwed them up for you.

There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.

Justin Bieber said to be just devastated to hear the news on the Boston marathon . . . . . .but hopes that everyone involved are fans.

The sharpest part of the body is not the teeth… Your asshole is the sharpest. Your teeth can’t cut shit.