What’s an alcoholic’s favorite book? Tequila mocking bird

I told a joke about Hurricane Katrina the other day. It failed to make a splash.

When you think about it, the little old man behind the curtain in Oz was the original catfish.

What are a philosopher’s favorite type of chips? Plato Nachos

You’d think strip poker would be more fun but Grandpa is horrible at cards.

A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and the bartender says, Sorry, we don’t serve food in here.

My wife made me into millionaire. I was a multi-millionaire before we met.

What happens when you put 50 different grey ions together? Bondage.

You’ve got two brain cells: one is in a wheelchair and the other one is pushing.

What did the gay man say at the bar? “Hey, can I push in your stool?”