What is a pedophile music teacher’s favorite chord? A minor.

A doctor reaches in his jacket for a pen…. and pulls out a thermometer. “Oh great, some asshole’s got my pen!”

Did you know that clumsy people are more likely to be obese? That’s because they keep walking into things………like McDonald’s.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?…. the holocaust

You can’t live on Cheetos and Oreos alone. But God knows I’ve tried.

What’s the hardest part about nailing a baby to a tree? My penis.

What is a horse’s favourite sport? Stable tennis!

Women are like a 1000 piece puzzle… Hard to finish in 10minutes

Wow 15 notifications.. oh wait 13 of them are for farmville, cityville, I dont give a shit-ville