Why are power tools good for bank robberies? They know the drill.

So a blind guy walks into a fish market… And says Hello ladys

Teacher: If you have five haystacks in one corner five in another and two in another how many would you have ? Pupil: One big haystack !

Hitler Where did Hitler keep his armies? In his sleevies!

Michel J Fox walks into an ice cream parlor. He orders a large cone with two scoops what flavors does he choose? It doesn’t matter he’s just going to drop it anyway

I feel like when life gives me lemons I just give them back because I hate holding stuff.

How long does an owl live? six and a half books.

How is Twitter like Game of Thrones? There’s 140 characters, and they are all terrible.

The laminator is a device that sounds a lot more dangerous to baby sheep than it actually is.

Why I need feminism A guy once told me that he disagreed with me. This is why I need feminism. He shoudn’t be allowed to say that.