I went to the cinema, and the prices were: Adults $5.00, children $2.50. So I said, “Give me two boys and a girl.”

Why Can’t a Nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot

99 bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code Take one down, patch it around, 116 bugs in the code!

What did one saggy boob say to the other? “We better get some support before someone thinks we’re nuts!”

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo.

My fear of spiders happened when I went to hit one with a newspaper, and it looked at me and did pushups saying “try again bro.”

How do you make a Kleenex dance? Blow a little boogie into it!

Why is it called PMS? Because mad cow disease was already taken.

Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year? Most weddings happen in June.

Donald Trump is a presidential candidate I can relate to Both of us have fantasies with Trump’s daughter