What do all dogs get with their phones? Collar ID

Damn girl, if you was a fruit you’d be a fineapple, if you was a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital as often as I could.

I heard a joke about the swiss the other day But the punch line was too cheesy to repeat.

Why do porn sites have a share to Google plus button I don’t want my friends to know I have Google plus

What did Lord Nelson say to his shipmates before they got on the ship? Get on the ship

Don’t let the notion of being bad at something keep you from enjoying it Ask my wife.

What do you call a grunge gardener? Hedgy.

Why did the termite eat a sofa and two chairs? It had a suite tooth.

What do you call a paedophile with no legs? A creepy crawly!

A man walks into a zoo… …the only animal in the whole entire zoo is a dog. It’s a shitzu.