A book fell on my head today… I’ve only got my shelf to blame.

I think we all know that one person who seems to make it a daily goal to incorporate every color of the rainbow in their outfit.

Why did the little Dutch boy get kicked out of the gay bar? He kept putting his finger in the dikes.

What’s the difference between spinach and sodomy? None really. You can add as much butter as you want, kids just won’t enjoy them.

Why is a woman’s asshole like a 9 volt battery? Because we all know it’s wrong but sooner or later we’re gonna put our tongue on it.

Why do flamingos stand on one leg? If they lifted the other leg they’d fall over.

Aspirin is a Placebo!!! That sense of relief you’re feeling is all in your head.

Did you hear about the guy who drunk brake fluid everyday? He’s ok he can stop whenever he wants.

What is most popular hearthstone deck in Germany? Patron Warrior because Everyone Get in Here

Why didn’t galactus consume the milky way? He was galactose-intolerant. I’m sorry.