What happens if Mike Tyson carries around Mjolnir all day? He gets thor arms!

Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think “look at all these poor people who don’t know Netflix exists.”

Joke’s on my neighbour, I actually like being kept locked in his shed.

Which two names figure prominently in every Ape’s diet? Ben/Anna!

4 out of 5 dentists agree u should not be going to 5 diferent dentists. it is important to have one dentist who knows ur dental history

I wish I was filled with pepperoni but instead I am filled with guilt & despair

What do you call a girl on the grill? Patty

AC Jokes We’re not a fan.

I have a friend who is half-Indian… He’s Ian.

Lame joke: “What do you get when you combine a vampire and a snowman?” Frostbite.